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some statistics

(Sun, Apr 7, 2024)

was thinking about all the wacky stats that video games are allowed to have because the computer does all the math, and may have accidentally reinvented PbtA moves from first principles. i'm calling them 'talents' because they are meant to sit on top of your existing statistics. a relevant talent can be be rolled under on 1d100 when the GM calls for a check to succeed, or rolled in place of a save if you have a very compelling reason. these are very weird and specific: they will probably only apply in weird or specific cases. use common sense.

these talents are meant to be written down on index cards oriented vertically. put the number at the top and make it big. write the rest below it. give every player one or two talents to start, and hide the rest somewhere else: the dreams of a wizard, a small carving forgotten in a dungeon, floating on the words of a sage.

The Stuff

FORMAT: (talent) - (check use case). (special)

1000 years of rain - 2 billion years to go. when you die, check to see if you're still alive, lying in the nearest still pool of water. if you are, subtract 10 from this talent.

microbiome - i'm tough as bricks with moss all over them. when you're hurt, check to see if makes it to your HP. if it doesn't, subtract 10 from this talent. Recover when you eat a gluttonous amount of food and sleep for 2 whole days like a bear.

repression - this shit ain't nothin' to me, man. when someone fucks with your head or your soul, check to see if it works. if it doesn't, add 5 to this talent. if you meet or surpass 100, retire.

blue leagues - all evil men fear me, all good men know me. for every person you should have killed but didn't, add 1 to this talent. if you kill someone you shouldn't have, lose this talent forever.

red miles - feel my pain. all spells come with a red miles score. when you cast it, check to see if it escapes you.

landlord - i evicted 30 orphans last week. when you inflict a life-ruining amount of needless cruelty upon someone, they are unable to directly harm you for the rest of their life.

family guy - are not all things on this land my family? after rolling a reaction, you may check to see if the creature knows of you.

saint patrick's day - drunk people fucking love me. there is another person in your head who can take over when you're not around (drunk, high, braindead). check to see if they act in your interest.

isolationism - let me do the adding up, you dolt. when you break a promise, add 1 to this talent.

richter scale - get out of the way. when you bend someone's will into a shape that suits yours, check to see if they will die 2d6 hours later for unrelated reasons.

god emperor - the very world kneels before me. for every 10 underlings you send to their deaths, add 1 to this talent. If you reach 100, lose everything that separates you from a beast and become immortal.

narcoterrorism - i'm something of a philosopher. when you best someone in an argument or debate, you may implant a thought in their mind. A mantra, an image, a desire. They will know it's synthetic but still make a morale check to withstand its influence. Thoughts that would lead to immediate bodily harm never take hold under normal circumstances.

limitless - i think i might be dead. you have no shadow, and don't appear in mirrors. when an unintelligent creature looks upon you, check to see if they notice you at all.

diamonds - who, me? when you steal something valuable a creature is wearing without their notice, you can steal something from their mind too. A dream, a memory, the face of a parent.

impressionism - understand the world as it is, not how it appears. when you close your eyes, you can feel movement within a number of feet equal to this score.